The main problem is here is that technology happened that has caused problems for dating. And we’re not just talking of texting problems or forgetting to e-mail your date. Technology, already a problem in itself with dating, suddenly brought with it Social Media that has become the bane of dating.
10 years ago the most nerve-racking part of the first date was probably asking for someone’s number (especially if it was your crush). Thanks to technology, the past problems of “Telebabad” and “Pamisita” of our parents make the social media dating problems of today look like complicated scientific formulas. Today there are so many steps to take before you can even ask someone on a first date that people seemed to have forgotten how to just talk face to face.
The “seen” zone and the never ending waiting
It’s been some weeks now and you’re trying to get up the courage to ask your crush out on a first date. You get the green light in your mind because you know she isn’t seeing anyone lately. So you take the plunge and message her on Facebook (yes, you’re friends on FB, lucky you), probably a simple “hello” or “hey girl, what’s up?” You can see she’s online, and 5, 15, and 30 minutes pass, still no answer; then hours go by, and suddenly that check mark and “seen” appears, but no reply. No parent ever told their child that a tiny check mark could be so heart-crushing.
All that online stalking
If you have a crush on someone and want to ask that person out on a date, chances are, you’ve already stalked that person on every media platform they have. That’s something even your older brother couldn’t do 10 years ago. Then you show your friends and even siblings and cousins her social media platform (usually Facebook) and let them judge after long conversations. This long conversation almost turns into a jury debate while everyone is poring over your crush’s social media.
Stalking while waiting for a reply
This would never have happened 10 years ago. And it happens to both girl and boy. Consider this a torture more worthy than what Ramsey Bolton could inflict. Girl or boy texts their sweetheart someone, and also leaves a message on Facebook. While waiting for a reply, girl or boy decides to double check on Twitter or Instagram. Lo and behold, “How can this person have time to live tweet a Game of Thrones episode but not text me back?” Many a relationship has fallen over this small thing.
Breakups are much harder now than before
Back in the days of your parents or older siblings, all they had to do was return each other’s things and it was all over, and the time to move on began. Today, you have to sit through the pain and hassle of erasing numbers and messages on the smartphone and deleting all your photos and posts on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. The hard part is deciding between blocking someone or watching all your friends interact with your ex.
It’s not official unless it’s on the relationship status
You probably heard before from your friends that “It’s not official and you’re not an item unless it’s Facebook-official. Today, making it “official” on social media may seem almost like a work pressure from your boss with a deadline. Everyone needs to be informed through that “In a relationship with…” or else no one will agree to the match-up.
Then if you breakup there’s the pain of changing that status and your 500+ friends reacting to it. What if you guys aren’t “legal” and still need to hide it from the girl’s parents and relatives? The one great advantage to this status situation is finding someone to date. In a relationship? This is definitely off limits. Single? Possibly. Curious. It’s complicated? Again possibly. Curious even more. Perhaps Rami Malek in Mr. Robot was right when he questioned, “Since when did our relationships become social media?”
When online dating becomes a lie
You’ve set up a date with that cute girl you’ve been chatting online. You’ve even become friends on Facebook. You finally meet up. Er… wait up… she looks nothing like her profile photo. Was it the lighting? Maybe too many filters? The magic of Photoshop? And she isn’t even as funny as she was online. You swear she looked cuter, taller, and very different from her profile picture. Later on you discover that the profile picture she used was of her sister whom she almost looks like. Almost.
You were probably taught as part of good conduct and behavior that it’s rude to just suddenly stop a conversation and leave. You need to excuse yourself. But in social media, “ghosting” is very common. “Ghosting” is basically the method of ending any sort of communication on social media in the hope that the other person will eventually get the hint. During your older brother’s day, this was construed as simply saying, “wala ko’y load” (I have no load) and just move on.
Since that excuse no longer carries weight in this age of the “unli load,” people simply resort to just casually disappearing because it’s easier to disappear on social media conversations even if it’s rude rather than being rude in actual adult conversations face to face. From the side of the other person, a waiting cycle similar to number 1 and 1 begins.
Making phone calls is a dead or obsolete art
Chances are most of your relationship’s communication will happen via text and social media. In all honesty this is the most detached, impersonal form of interaction. You even need to get familiar with those emoticon options or be left behind. What ever happened to just seeing each other and talking face to face rather than finding out things only for the first time online? And here’s what’s really rude: breaking up with someone through text or social media rather than having the guts to do it in person.